the Wedding and beyond
by Lost-Lotus
Summary: post eclipse. Edward enters a dream like state in which he has nightmares which only get worse as the story contuines. this is my first fic so please R
1. in a dream like state

**Chapter One**

"I'm sorry Edward, I can't"

"Can' what?" I asked

"Edward, I can't marry you." This made my head spin, didn't Bella love me? Weren't we destined to be together? What happened to change this? My answer came soon enough.

"I fell in love with Jacob Black while you where away" Was I imagining things or was there another faint, fast heartbeat in the distance? I listened harder and then suddenly it dawned on me. Bella was pregnant. How did this happen? Who was the father? Would she even keep the baby?

"You're…….you're……….you're" I was at a loss for words.

"Pregnant?" Bella finished for me.

"I'm guessing that I'm not the Father, am I." how stupid could I get, Bella would've accepted my proposal. Oh. My. God. It was Jacobs's baby and that's why she didn't tell me or say "yes". I pinched the bridge of my nose and yet again wondered if it was possible for vampires to get migraines. "It's Jacob's isn't it?" my voice shook as I asked the question I hoped that she would say it wasn't but I knew that it was more than likely that she would say that it was. That STUPID **DOG,** why did he have to ruin everything? He had already made me think I had lost her. This time when I went to Italy, the Voultori would be merciless and kill me straight away.

"No Edward, the baby's yours." I inwardly smiled but was more confused than happy. If the baby was mine, why won't she marry me?

"Bella, I don't understand, if the baby is mine then why won't you marry me?" I asked utterly bewildered.

"Because I still haven't told anybody, you're the first to know. I also don't know how he will take me being pregnant without the added shock that I will be marrying you as well. That might be just a little too much for him don't you think?" Was her simple reply, not because she didn't love me she just was unsure of her self at the present moment in time.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

"EDWARD, EDWARD, EDWARD!!!!!!!!!" came Alice's voice. She isn't supposed to be here though I broke out of my trance and gave her a 'what did you do that for?' look.

"Edward, Bella's downstairs ….." Bella is here and she still wants to speak to me, Bella still loves me. "… she say that if you ever pull a stunt like that she will hire Emmet to rip you limb from limb."

At this statement I chuckled silently to my self.

"Yes, yes Alice now can you please move, you're blocking the door frame?"

On my way downstairs my mind had only one thought in it. Bella still loved me after I had sol coldly rejected her. I hope that she understands that I just couldn't seal her virtue, I just couldn't. She must think that I don't want her because she is human. She is wrong. I want her, Oh how I want her, but now is not the time. I could kill her.

"Don't worry Edward" came Alice's voice from the stairs. "She isn't here to hurt you, she just wants to…"

I couldn't hear the last bit because Jasper caught me in the hall and sighed.

"Whew you are an emotional wreck right now. If I where you I would calm down before talking to her. But on the other hand your emotions are in better control than Bella's"

"Why what's wrong with her?" I asked Jasper the anxiety that he must be feeling now is probably unbearable.

"Oh nothing at all except for the fact that her hearts just been torn in two just when it was starting to stitch itself back together. Edward listen to me she is really confused. My advice to you is just to lay it all out on the table for her to see. Try to make her see things from your point of view". Jasper is always so nice to me, even when I don't deserve it.

"Thank you Jasper, really from the bottom of my heart thank you"

And then I sped off to see my angel. Although Alice or Jasper didn't tell me where Bella was it was pretty easy to find her even without resorting to using her scent. Her heart was pounding so loudly that if I didn't know her I would've thought that she was about to have a full scale heart attack right on the floor of the living room. When she looked up and saw me one word escaped her lips but so much more was conveyed through her eyes.

"Edward"

she sighed that sigh had so many levels of emotion in it; Love, joy, sadness, rejection and a note that I wasn't familiar to hearing in Bella's voice, Fear. Who knew that one word could convey so much emotion? The world may never know. "Bella, my sweet, sweet Bella"I whispered as I crossed the room and gently cupped her face in my hands. A tear streamed down her face.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked I could tell that my voice sounded extremely worried.

"Last night you almost ripped my soul in half just as it was starting to heal. Don't you see that not being with you causes me to become physically sick?" I realized more than she knew. But why couldn't she see that it was so unsafe, if we did anything she could die? It killed me to see her like this.

"I'm sorry Bella but…" I started only to be cut off by her.

"Edward can we go back to my house to talk this over?" she asked.

"Of course we can."


	2. At Charlie's

(At Charlie's in Bella's room)

EPOV:

"Edward, we really need to tal…" was just about all she was able to get out before I tilted her face upwards and started to kiss her, this kiss was not like the careful kisses that we had shared before, it had a little more passion. Her heart sped up and nearly stopped. When Bella had to come up for air I simply moved my lips to the hallow of her neck.

"Edward?"

"Mmph" I said into the hallow of her neck. I wondered what was coming. Would she yell at me? If she did I deserved it.

"Why do we torture ourselves like this?"

"I don't understand what you are saying. And how is this classified as torture?" I replied.

"Well Edward, the smell of my blood to you is so tempting that it causes you physical pain to be near me and not drain me. I addition I really enjoy waking up next to you and kissing you but there is so much more out there to do." It was now my turn to talk.

"Bella, I hope that this comes out right, I love to lie next to you and watch you sleep and kissing you more than eternity, further more your blood is the best smelling thing out there to me. But that doesn't mean that I am willing to lose control. So what more is there to want?" the look in her eye told me that there was much more to want. The next thing I knew I was being straddled by Bella, wow things surely do move quickly when Bella wants something. I suddenly felt something that I hadn't felt since I was human; Bella had given me a rise. She must have felt it because the next thing out of her mouth was

"Edward, now what where you just saying? I think that you want this more than I do" she sounded so innocent but I knew that beneath that façade lay the Bella that wanted me more than anything else. I couldn't help myself but to press my lips against hers. I couldn't wait until she was one of us so I wouldn't have to always be so careful. But I had to ask. "Bella are you sure you want to do this?" I hoped against all hope that she would say yes but some fraction of me was screaming think about her virtue, you don't want to hurt her.

"Why on earth would you even ask that question? Of course I do. But first I would like my human minute." Before I even got a chance to wonder why she was interrupting this I got an answer. "I'll be fast though so don't worry. I just need to wash my hair really quickly so it will dry by 11:00."

"Okay." I replied "would you like me to join you?" even I would admit that it was a shot in the dark. Her answer startled me as much as the question.

"Of course you can Edward" wow how much does Bella love me? She loves me too much. I wasted no time in getting to the bathroom and turning on the hot water I was so absorbed in worrying if the temperature of the water would be right for Bella that I almost didn't notice it when two warm arms snaked up from behind me to my chest. A voice whispered in my ear. "You know young man when you take a shower you should be naked" I turned around to see Bella bearing it all and wearing absolutely nothing. My god she is beautiful.

"Who are you calling young?" I asked playing along.

"Are we going in or are we going to make Charlie's water bill insanely high this month?" she countered and with that we where in the shower. It was the best shower I ever had. (A/N NOTHING HAPPENED well you couldn't say that but they still have their 'virtue')

When we were out of the shower and she had changed into her sleep clothes we had resumed with our feverish kissing. When she came up for air I peeled my lips off of her skin and asked "Bella, what day would you like to be married?"

"August fourteenth. Why? I thought that the date was already set" I looked up at her in shock.

"She is but I just wanted your input; why August fourteenth?" I asked. I was wondering if Alice had set me up again.

"Because it just feels right, it has a certain ring to it. I don't think I can explain it"

She was right. "Oh and Edward I would like to negotiate a few things with you." I sighed inwardly. Here we go again, I've told her a thousand times that we would wait until marriage but would she listen, NO. What came out of her mouth shocked me, a lot. "Edward, I….I….I'm not" this was getting ridiculous. With every word she stuttered through her face got a deeper and deeper red. "You're not what Bella?" I asked

"I'm not ready to become a Vampire" she whispered so lowly that I could barely hear it. "And this is bad why?"

"Because…because…" she couldn't get anything else out and collapsed onto my chest. Her heat to me is like sight to the blind, I had gone without heat for so long that when I had it I realized what I was missing for those ninety something years.

"Bella, Bella shush nothing is wrong. I understand that you don't want to say good-bye to your family and friends at such a young age. It's perfectly fine that you would like to wait a while, who knows after a few years you may not want to change at all." If Jasper was here he would be able to feel the pure hope radiating off of me, why was I pushing my luck so far today?

"Edward, I love you but I don't want to be thirty" she shuddered at the word. Why she shudders at the mention of age and marriage I will never understand. "There's also something else I would like to say Edward. I want Jacob and Charlie at my wedding" it was here turn to sound hopeful.

"Don't worry about it, Jacob was already invited and Alice may be able to work some of her magic on Charlie" not to mention my plan to make sure that Bella had the best possible marriage she could, maybe she would consider repeating the experience every few years. "So when would you like to be changed?"

"In about two years, it would be less noticeable if I went to spend a semester in northern Canada than if I was changed right away."

"Bella nothing would make me happier than to wait a while to change you. But I must ask you once again why did you choose August fourteenth?"

"The answer is every bit the same as it was five minutes ago. It just feels right."

"Did Alice tell you that August fourteenth was my birthday?"

"No she didn't"

"You should get some sleep Alice is planning on taking you shopping tomorrow"

She sighed at the statement and I wondered if it was fair for her to have to shop with Alice for an entire day.


	3. Author's Note Sorry

This story has been abandoned for about four years, I just felt that the abandonment needed announcing. If you would like to continue it please send me a message.

Lots of love,

Lotus.


End file.
